I’ve decided that the next relationship I’m in, a few months into it, I’m giving him a blank breakup postcard – but just one. It will look like this:
I __________________ would not like to date you any more because:
________ you’re mean
________ it’s just not working out
________ I’m cheating on you
________ it’s not you, it’s me
Please return any personal belongings you may have of mine to: _____________________________ . If we meet in public, you should:
________ ignore me, I feel awkward about this
________ smile and nod
________ chat with me, I move on quickly and I’m talkative
I will hand it to the man and say, “Here, any time you want out, drop this in the mail. No confrontation, no awkward moments, no explaining. You’ll never get a call from me, and I promise to change your name in the next book I write.”
“Why?” you ask. Well I started thinking: Do we really want a guy around who doesn’t want to be with us? (Noooo….the answer is NO, girls. I see some of you thinking “hmmmm….maybe…”) So I’m going to give him every opportunity to hit the road if he wants to.
I think our dating relationships are too much like Branson timeshare meetings sometimes – “Pu-leeze baby, hang around, come here! see this! Ooh! Commit to this! Oooh!” Maybe we should be more like the Navy Seals – not that a guy needs combat training to date me – but you don’t see them giving guys the pansy treatment…..begging them….. Nope – you’ve gotta qualify for that, baby. They say, “You wanna be in this group? You’d better get your act together. We don’t have time for your apathy.” (Haha, their website says they “seek smart, fit, hardworking young men from all backgrounds”….haha don’t we all….)
I’ve decided I’m no Branson timeshare. If the guy wants to go – go. The relationship doesn’t get any easier from here on out. If he’s not one-hundred percent sure he wants to date me, why would he like me more if we got married? No, I think now would be a good time to go – before we start picking out china patterns. So here you go – I’ll make it easy for you. But you only get one postcard….cause if you leave that way – it’s a closed door behind you.
…All right, I probably won’t ever give anyone breakup postcards to use. It’s a little extreme, and sometimes dating couples might need some time apart. But it is interesting to think about. And I do think we as women tend to keep people around in our lives too long who don’t want to be there. (next blog on that soon). Especially boyfriends. Especially when we put time into the relationship and we really like him. But as much as it hurts, if he doesn’t want to be there, he needs to go. And the sooner he does, the quicker we can shred the teddy bear he bought, take a baseball bat to it, and start the recovery process. And move on to someone who really wants to be there.
Any thoughts? Stories? Triple-dog dares for me to try this? 🙂
Kinda is an author, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and hopeless wanderer. Her favorite places in the world include Manarola, Italy, and Gimmelwald, Switzerland. In her free time, you can find her bargain shopping and hanging out at coffee shops.
haha! love it! that would make things a heck of a lot easier, wouldn’t it!?! too bad our emotions really don’t care what is clean cut and what is messy….it all just hurts the same. =)
Ooh yes – always hurts. There’s no way around that one. I was just thinking of all the times guys (and girls) stick around in a relationship waaay too long….for many reasons. They don’t like confrontation, they don’t want to hurt feelings, they want to be completely sure before they leave, the other person keeps begging them to stay. Nothing wrong with any of these, but sometimes it just painfully draaags it all out. I’ve been on both sides of that situation…so the breakup postcard was my brilliant idea to help – the “Get Out of Date Free” card LOL!