I’ve done it. I’ve thought of a brilliant idea (as most of them are ;-D) to reform single life as we know it. You’ve heard of the rules, right? Well my answer for the single girl is the signals. Like a stoplight – only more complex….a pause light? Date light? Babylookatmelight? I’m still working on the clever name thing. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
One thing I get asked over and over – and one thing my girlfriends and I still argue about at length is “How can I tell if a guy….”
- likes me
- is just being nice
- wants to dump me
That conundrum is quickly followed by “How do I let a guy know that…” – for which the next three hours are spent heatedly discussing all of the confusing signals and mixed messages over a bottle of cherry pepsi and a giant tub of ice cream. (ha, I accidentally typed “nice cream” – and isn’t it though? 🙂
So I thought…..(wait for it)…..”Why try to decipher all of the crazy signals? Why don’t we just create our own set of signals, their respective meanings, and distribute this list to everyone?” We could have signals for when we like a guy, signals that you just want to be friends. Or phrases that would tell a guy whether or not we’re into him. It would get across the meaning and spare everyone’s pride/feelings/ego. We girls hate to hurt a guy’s feelings – and we hate chasing them down to get on their radar even more. So the “cup of coffee/ilikeyou” signal could go something like this…
Me: blah blah blah (figuratively)
Guy: (says something brilliant/humorous)
Me: hahaha! (enthusiastic awe/laughter) Wow, I’ll bet you’re even funnier over a cup of coffee. And I don’t mean literally, because that would be hot. Although you are… (nervously trails off).
Guy: Well let’s find out – how about tomorrow night at 7?
Okay, that was just off the top of my head, and pretty lame. But we could figure something out. Like if you’re not interested in him, don’t reply to his texts for at least 2 hours after each one. Or if he asks you out and you’re not interested, you could say – “I think I’m scheduled to work the spatula cheeto shift tonight.” And he wouldn’t question it – because he got the spatula cheeto signal.
Obviously my signals need some refinement, but my brilliant idea here is only an hour old, after all. And for breakups – that’s my new “breakup postcard theory” – but that’s an entirely different blog….
So whaddaya think? Got any good code words? Clever signals? Think it would work? I think it could – and save many a bottle of pepsi and nice cream.
Kinda is an author, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and hopeless wanderer. Her favorite places in the world include Manarola, Italy, and Gimmelwald, Switzerland. In her free time, you can find her bargain shopping and hanging out at coffee shops.
i love it! You are BRILLANT!
I love this post, and have been trying to kill the ‘mixed messages’ problem myself. The irony is that even when we are completely straight forward and honest, no one seems to believe that the honesty is genuine! It’s actually comical, and I dare say that even code words would fail to be effective because both sides of the gender communication gap would end up sitting there wondering… “does he/she REALLY mean what that code word says, or is this just a ________ (ploy, farce, mistake, violation, or bad idea)?”
hahaha! Okay, you’ve got me….I think you’re right on this one. My theory is fatally flawed. But now that I think about it, the ambiguity of it all is probably what makes life interesting. Dang it, I’m back to the drawing board.
(On a side note, ploy and farce together in a sentence….it puts me back in my old Nancy Drew mystery days…love it…:-D)