I don’t like who I’ve become lately. Uptight and easily-stressed. I had a brief moment of insight this past week that glaringly pointed this out – my “aha moment” for those of you that speak Oprah-ese.
The day was Thursday and my friend had just invited me to his birthday celebration: dinner and LaserQuest (dun dun dunnnn). Toward the end of the first game, I realized something: I wasn’t having fun. I wanted to have fun, but what was I doing? I was counting minutes. I was thinking about how many things were left at home that I should be doing – about how many things I had on my schedule for the week. Yes, I was in the middle of a LaserQuest game thinking about Excel spreadsheets.
When did I become this person anyway? It snuck up on me slowly I think. I’ve been so busy the past year trying to get everything done that my body forgot how to completely relax and have fun. And giggle and act like a kid. Somewhere at the end of the first LaserQuest game, all of this information hit me. That and about a million laser beams. It’s hard to process an epiphany and still dodge little kids with laser guns.
So I decided I didn’t like this new overly-uptight person, and I needed to change. Hmmm….you know it takes a while to get used to relaxing when you’ve been on-the-go for so long. Anyway, I dove back into LaserTag with a fury. And I do mean fury. By the third game, I had changed my code name to Phantom and was charging after the annoying gang of five year old’s. Actually, they were nine. But I learned if you yell “Where are those stinkin’ five-year-old’s?” Then they will….without fail….yell “We’re not five! We’re nine!!” from their hiding places. And I would pounce. I mean the Phantom would pounce, of course. And I realized I was having fun.
Goals are great. Working hard is great. But life is about living, and living starts now. What good is it if I accomplish everything I want and have had a miserable time getting there? As a kid I spent every afternoon playing, riding bikes, and exploring. And I think now – with all of our achievements and efficiency – that we’ve lost some of the joy of just playing.
So I’m going to enjoy the process more. My world will not fall apart if I do not send out more emails. My dreams will not disappear if I take a weekend off. And things will not get done better if I stress more. I’m going to do something ridiculously unproductive this weekend. I’m going to spend an entire day relaxing and not feel guilty about it. That’s the plan: To be the kid and grown-up me at the same time. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s Friday and I’m off to a dreadfully unproductive lunch 🙂
Kinda is an author, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and hopeless wanderer. Her favorite places in the world include Manarola, Italy, and Gimmelwald, Switzerland. In her free time, you can find her bargain shopping and hanging out at coffee shops.
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