I was singing at church a few weeks ago and my vocal chords weren’t quite up to par, to put it mildly. I should have known better than to pick the song where I had to belt out the verses. In the middle of verse two, I tried to hit the note a little out of my alto range, and I epic-failed it. I knew it. I could feel a collective wince from the non-hearing-aid members of the congregation. I winced with them and tried to keep singing.
Two years ago that would have sent me into days of worrying about whether or not I should ever burden the likes of the world with my allergy-provoked vocal chords. Now I’ve realized that messing up comes with the territory. It doesn’t mean I need to panic and rethink my life strategy. It just means I’m doing something in my life that involves a risk. It means I’m living. So now I just wince….and keep singing.
My 90’s hair…the infamous wave bangs
I sometimes hear the phrase, “Do or do not – there is no try,” and I think of course there’s a try. There’s a try and fail horribly. Did you see my hair in the nineties? Did you? But it’s really okay – because the beauty is in the trying. The risking. The getting out of the mundane and actually going for something worthwhile. THAT is the living.
And that in itself is success.
Not so much arriving first at the finish line, but having the guts to train, put on the little spandex running suit, and jump in the freakin’ race.
Several days ago my friend Amy said to me, “You know Kinda, I’m really proud of you for having been in that (specific) relationship.” And I said, “What?! THAT one…you’re KIDDING!” She nodded. “Yep, you knew there was always a risk in opening up, but I’m proud of you for being brave enough to try.” What a good friend. And what a nice way to look at life.
So this is my thought: I think we should expect some messing up. I think we should welcome it. We don’t really aim for it, but at least it means we’re getting off of our butts and doing something worthwhile. In fact, I would say if you haven’t had an epic-fail, you’re not living big enough.
Jon Acuff posted this quote from his upcoming book on his site this week:
“If you’re going to risk and maybe fail, fail at something that matters. Fail gloriously so that even in failure, lives change”
And that’s how I’d like to live. To judge my life not on my successes and failures, but by the heart and soul that I put into trying things that matter. And when I do have an epic fail, I’d like for the world to say, “Yes, she really crashed and burned on that one, but wow wasn’t it a beautiful fire”
What risks are you glad you took? What hilarious mess-ups are you proud of?
Kinda is an author, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and hopeless wanderer. Her favorite places in the world include Manarola, Italy, and Gimmelwald, Switzerland. In her free time, you can find her bargain shopping and hanging out at coffee shops.
The point of Do or Do not, there is no try is that if you try, you’re counting on a chance of there being failure from the start. So you don’t go in trying, you go in doing, you don’t count on failure, you count on doing it. You don’t try and run the race, you just run the race and you finish it, first, last it doesn’t matter, you’ve still done it.