I’m determined to reform single life and dating as we know it, or at least make money off of it. *Giggle* And I’ve done it! Yesssss. I’ve thought of a fantastic new business idea to 1) Make everyone’s dates out there be much more entertaining and enlightening and 2) Fill my pockets full of dollars (or Euros…or rupees…). Curious yet? Read on.
You see, I was watching the Bachelorette the other night during girls night (HEY! – no judging…..), and we noticed something interesting. First of all, the dates seemed to go flawlessly, from one exciting event to the next. My friend grumbled about this: “Hey, my last date was as boring as white milk. White milk I say!” That’s like the kiss of death around here – white milk or vanilla. But anyway, what was different? There seemed to be so much more emotion in these dates……what was it?? And then we noticed it – the soundtrack.
AHA! Of course things were exciting with all of that music softly playing, then building up to the kiss, or striking obvious minor chords in the uncomfortable situations…..and I thought…..wouldn’t our dates be so much better if we had those?? The answer is “Yes, yes they would,” and I have your solution. You’ll thank me later.
Basic Option
For a small fee, employee Emily of my new company will accompany you on your date (subtly out of sight, of course) with a pre-made soundtrack. Want a soft, soothing atmosphere? It’s just a button-click away, and Emily will fill the room with the harmonious sounds of stringed instruments (courtesy of pictured boom-box). But wait – want a fantastic date? Upgrade to option two:
Upgrade Option
Emily will play a custom soundtrack to fit the mood of the date. Lovely filler music for when you have nothing to say and light-hearted pitter-patter dancing music when your date attempts a joke. HA HA HA! (That’s me laughing at just the thought of the abundance of humor with the added soundtrack). And you no longer have to worry about digging yourself into a hole in a conversation – with the first glimpse of an embarrassing comment, Emily will quickly play a minor chord….And if you keep checking out other girls/guys? – the music will slowly progress to what resembles the Jaws theme. At which point your date is probably doomed, but at least you know about it before the awkward goodbye part.
Speaking of, we even have the “Twilight” theme music on hand for when you feel especially drawn to the other person, are trying to figure out what the heck they’re thinking, or perhaps you just want to sit outside their window at night. Admittedly, the music will be a bit of a giveaway to your hiding in the bushes, but it still adds to the overall effect. Oh, and we’re working on adding a banjo player into the mix, in case your date is creeped out by all of this and wants to run away….
So there ya go! How could you possibly have another boring date with all of that? How could the date possibly be void of emotion? It can’t. Or as we like to say, “Upgrade to violin and let the lovin’ begin,” and you too can have a fantastic date, just like the Bachelorette….
Kinda is an author, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and hopeless wanderer. Her favorite places in the world include Manarola, Italy, and Gimmelwald, Switzerland. In her free time, you can find her bargain shopping and hanging out at coffee shops.
I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying. I love that you posted this. Also, I’ll put up my guitar playing for sale if you’d like. 😛
Haha! Thought you would appreciate 🙂 Well if this venture takes off, as it undoubtedly will, we will be hiring musicians left and right….and since you have SOOO much experience with the Bachelorette as well, you’re more than qualified….;-b
I seriously can play the “Twilight” theme on the piano…. 😉
Hmmm….you lugging around a keyboard might be a bit much…..:)
I’m lovin’ it! Now I know where I have been going wrong! 😉