They say a writer takes on the style of what he or she reads and listens to. I apologize in advance for going on a sappy Jane Austen movie marathon before writing this…sigh. I’ll go back and take out all of the random phrases about Netherfield park, but there’s no way to remove the imaginary stringed instruments playing in the background as you read this. Oops.
I was filming for the TBN show with Destiny Church Pastors Mike and Renae this week, and Pastor Mike asked me a question that got me to thinking. Now I don’t remember it exactly – It was all a blur when the cameras were rolling, and I was just trying to sip coffee, answer questions, and not drool on myself. But the question was about how we sometimes enter into relationships out of loneliness. I think I ended up answering a slightly different question than what he asked, but I started thinking more about it when I got home.
I’ve heard all of the usual sayings about being content or finding God and it will take all of the loneliness out of life, but I wonder if that’s really true? Is that even Biblical? I need to research it more. Because maybe it’s built within us to long for connection at many levels. For our hearts to cry out to not be alone in the world – to form deep relationships with others here – to belong. Maybe God put within us a need to help and be helped by others. To be a part of a family.
I look back and still, OSUXA has been the only place that I’ve ever truly felt at home, like I belonged. It wasn’t the town or the building or the spiritual presence, it was the people, the community. And something in me longs for that sense of community. Some of us long for the family that we never had, the friends that are too busy, or the mentor and guidance that we can’t find. And we feel lonely. And frustrated.
It’s funny that in college we learn that (on the Hofstede scale), the United States is probably the most masculine-oriented country in the world. Which means we value materialism and stress its importance over relationships and family ties. And I think that’s made us feel isolated and lacking sometimes.
I wonder what we could do and accomplish, as the church, if we would just be a family for people. If we would just give them a place to belong. Some of the girls in our church come through ice storms, gustnadoes, and other Travis Meyer weather patterns, just to sit beside someone else’s family during a service. And I wonder if having a milkshake with them and laughing is as much of a healing sermon as anything else sometimes.
Maybe by saying that God takes away all loneliness, we’ve taken away some of our responsibility to reach out. Maybe we are supposed to be some of that connection to other people – to help provide that sense of family. And maybe we are meant to seek it in others as well as God.
I guess I don’t have anything we should all change, per se, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and to hear yours. And I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for us all to take some time for others and give a friend or two a non-creepy hug this week. More like Friend Bear or Funshine Bear – less like Grumpy Bear.
(cue violins – waltz on one…two…three….one…two…three)
Kinda is an author, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and hopeless wanderer. Her favorite places in the world include Manarola, Italy, and Gimmelwald, Switzerland. In her free time, you can find her bargain shopping and hanging out at coffee shops.
Kinda, you are exactly right. We were built for relationships with other people right from the beginning. God created man, who had perfect fellowship with God, but said it was not good (not just because he was a man, ha,ha). But God saw that man was incomplete. He made woman to fill that need. Then he said that it was good. Not just because he made a man and a woman, but because God filled that need that lay deep inside of man for companionship and belonging. We all need to be connected to others, and sadly I think the church has lost sight of that. The saying is, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” I think that is why the church is losing people everyday. We have lost our focus. The early church grew because of relationships (they broke bread and fellowshipped with each other daily). Today it has become about routines, traditions, programs, and facilities. And people are turned off by it. Bravo for commenting on it.